Chris will start chemotherapy a week after we get back from our Motorcycle trip in early August. This week he is getting another bone scan to determine how extensive the cancer is.
Chris is worried about being treated differently now and worries he will get deferential treatment. I told him he was a dumb ass. Getting the best seat, the shady spot, the first cold beer, gives us all the illusion that we are doing something for him in his time of need. I told him to accept these gestures with quiet grace and appreciate that his close friends are attempting to help in the only way they really can. We all realize that we cannot carry this weight for him. But by being there, we will lighten the weigh he has to carry periodically.
So a couple of things for you here.
There are times you have to carry weight and there are times when you elect to carry weight. In both cases you will always have to bear the weight by yourself. Not even the best meaning, well intentioned people who love you will understand how heavy that weight is. BUT, allowing them to reach out to you, to accept the small graces they can offer can most certainly lighten the load from time to time. The weight will always be heavier if you elect to carry it without allowing other people to attempt to help. Never make it heavier than it has to be and if you can let someone lighten your load and theirs.
Always assume things are bigger than you. Having this perspective will always allow you to excel in the toughest of circumstances.
Never underestimate the power of saying your prayers. Get in the habit of asking for the wisdom to see the already considerable gifts that have already been given to you.
Love Dad
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Here and There
I can remember when I loaded up my 61 Plymouth Valiant and headed West to become a Professional Rodeo Cowboy. For me, chasing my dreams meant actually getting in a car and going to a place that was far away from home.
Far away from home, friends, and family it was a tough time. I thought it was tough because it was a right of passage. It took me a couple of years to figure out that a dream was not in a physical place, it was in me. So where ever I was I took the dream with me. Sounds simple, but for me I equated a physical distance with a journey. They are not the same thing at all.
I went back to Colorado, convinced that I was a failure for coming back. Nothing was further from the truth. Even by the measure of 30 years ago, it made sense to everyone that I was coming back to the place where are my resources were.
And I used those resources.
Life in my absence had continued to move forward for everyone. Hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had not confused going on a journey with a physical distance. By the way my journey continues in Colorado today. I also realize that if needed I could continue pursing it in another city or state. I am good where ever I go. I take my journey and dreams with me where ever I go..
Never confuse physical distance with a journey. They are never the same thing.
One of the great strengths you can possess, it knowing you are just as great in one place as another. The things that make you outstanding (and there are a lot of them) are not in a physical location, they are in you.
We will always leave the porch light on for you.
Love Dad
Far away from home, friends, and family it was a tough time. I thought it was tough because it was a right of passage. It took me a couple of years to figure out that a dream was not in a physical place, it was in me. So where ever I was I took the dream with me. Sounds simple, but for me I equated a physical distance with a journey. They are not the same thing at all.
I went back to Colorado, convinced that I was a failure for coming back. Nothing was further from the truth. Even by the measure of 30 years ago, it made sense to everyone that I was coming back to the place where are my resources were.
And I used those resources.
Life in my absence had continued to move forward for everyone. Hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had not confused going on a journey with a physical distance. By the way my journey continues in Colorado today. I also realize that if needed I could continue pursing it in another city or state. I am good where ever I go. I take my journey and dreams with me where ever I go..
Never confuse physical distance with a journey. They are never the same thing.
One of the great strengths you can possess, it knowing you are just as great in one place as another. The things that make you outstanding (and there are a lot of them) are not in a physical location, they are in you.
We will always leave the porch light on for you.
Love Dad
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Believe
I have a strong, unwavering belief in you both. A sincere, ardent belief that you will be successful beyond what you can imagine today. As strong as that belief is in me - it is nothing compared to the belief that you need to have in yourself. It needs to be stronger, more unwavering, and more ardent than any belief anyone else has in you. It has to be that way in your core.
This does not mean that you should be without doubts. You should have doubts, it is an essential part of your self preservation. Your doubts let you re-access the path you are taking if that is needed. That is a big part of improvise, adapting, and overcoming. Doubts can also paralyze you. You can spend a lot of time re-accessing your paths when things do not go as planned. Never spend so much time accessing which path to take to the degree that you fail to walk down any one path.
Sincere belief is most powerful when it comes from you.
Love Dad
This does not mean that you should be without doubts. You should have doubts, it is an essential part of your self preservation. Your doubts let you re-access the path you are taking if that is needed. That is a big part of improvise, adapting, and overcoming. Doubts can also paralyze you. You can spend a lot of time re-accessing your paths when things do not go as planned. Never spend so much time accessing which path to take to the degree that you fail to walk down any one path.
Sincere belief is most powerful when it comes from you.
Love Dad
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Cynical
Cynicism is not reserved for the down and out or the disenfranchised. A well educated and successful cynic is not much different that uneducated and unsuccessful one.
A person who is convinced that they know the outcome based on a set of predetermined judgements and values is a self absorbed. You cannot fully define something unless you have a firm grasp on what the value of something is.
In almost all cases you are not going to be able to readily attach a value to things without understanding them. Even for the things in your life, the only thing that allows you do to this is time, distance, and experience. It is damn near impossible for you to attach the right value on a person, place, or journey for another person.
If you have to predict, opt to believe in the best possible outcome and work to make that happen in your life and in the lives of others.
A person who is convinced that they know the outcome based on a set of predetermined judgements and values is a self absorbed. You cannot fully define something unless you have a firm grasp on what the value of something is.
In almost all cases you are not going to be able to readily attach a value to things without understanding them. Even for the things in your life, the only thing that allows you do to this is time, distance, and experience. It is damn near impossible for you to attach the right value on a person, place, or journey for another person.
If you have to predict, opt to believe in the best possible outcome and work to make that happen in your life and in the lives of others.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Fingertips
It is not an exaggeration to say that the world is at your fingertips. It is equally important to realize that the world that is at the end of someone else's fingertips, does not have a damn thing to do what is at the end of yours.
Today and every day this week there are going to be a dozen doors that you can walk through because of who you are and this time & place in your life. Make no mistake, it is nice to have the occasional door opened for you to make life easier or gain entry into a desired place. The real truth is that people open doors because you have given them a glimpse of strength that you have that reminds them what is best in them.
The most amazing things in your life happen when you elect to walk through a door based on who and what you are. You will elect to walk through more doors when you begin to recognize the strengths and gifts you posses. This creates the need and courage to open these doors. There are turds behind some of these doors, don't let that dissuade you. That is life, never elevate a turd to icon status. Treat it like shit and move on.
It sucks ass to watch other people open doors, it creates doubt and fear in you. They don't have more (fill in the blank) than you, they just opened the door.
Approach every day with a sense of wonder and expectation and look for those doors. I see them every day and for everyone I see there are 10 times that number that I am not seeing.
If you are having a bunch of days that suck you just are not seeing all the possibility. Open a door ,
Love Dad
Today and every day this week there are going to be a dozen doors that you can walk through because of who you are and this time & place in your life. Make no mistake, it is nice to have the occasional door opened for you to make life easier or gain entry into a desired place. The real truth is that people open doors because you have given them a glimpse of strength that you have that reminds them what is best in them.
The most amazing things in your life happen when you elect to walk through a door based on who and what you are. You will elect to walk through more doors when you begin to recognize the strengths and gifts you posses. This creates the need and courage to open these doors. There are turds behind some of these doors, don't let that dissuade you. That is life, never elevate a turd to icon status. Treat it like shit and move on.
It sucks ass to watch other people open doors, it creates doubt and fear in you. They don't have more (fill in the blank) than you, they just opened the door.
Approach every day with a sense of wonder and expectation and look for those doors. I see them every day and for everyone I see there are 10 times that number that I am not seeing.
If you are having a bunch of days that suck you just are not seeing all the possibility. Open a door ,
Love Dad
Sunday, July 8, 2012
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