My extended family (brothers and sisters) are going through some stressful times right now. As much as my heart goes out to them, I want to punch them in the neck because they are adding to their own stress and they do not need to do that.
When you are under stress you will process everything with a filter that is uniquely your own. In times of great stress most people will default to falling back and defending themselves against anything that feels like a attack, threat, or slight. And because we all hate for people to see us under stress, you are
probably adept at hiding from most people when you are under stress. So when people do not know you are under stress, they can easily say and do things
that feel incredibly insensitive or insulting to you.
If your default is to defend yourself first, without understanding what is going on, you are going to spend far more effort, time, and emotional time on things than you need to. It is adding drama, when drama is the last thing that is needed.
People resolve things for themselves when they go back to the beginning and understand what was going on then. This can take days, weeks, or months to do and sometimes (sigh) much longer. It almost always can be avoided with that up front effort of trying to understand what is going on before you act. Next time it comes around, take a couple of minutes and understand what is happening before you react, in a lot of cases it is not going to be just about you.
Do not participate in other people's drama. If you need drama, spend the afternoon at a movie theater. I don't share in the drama of my siblings because I understand it is made by them and not me. I love them all without qualification. Don't always like what they do, but always love them. And as much as I hate to sound like a greeting card, love really does conquer all.
Make sure you call Uncle C. He turns 50 today.
Love Dad
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