Awkward

I remember when your mom first asked me to meet her father and extended family.  I was at first flattered but that gave way very quickly to an overwhelming feeling of dread.  People tend to either like me right away or think something is wrong with me.

When she started to introduce me to the important people in her life, she took a huge leap of faith.  You don't want people close to you to think the person you are hanging out with is wrong for you.  When you start those introductions, you expose yourself and that other person to scrutiny that you may not normally welcome.  Family, friends, and extended family are coincidentally those people who can really hurt your feelings because they have known you so long.  These are the people who really know how to hurt your feelings.

It is a part of having a new significant relationship that is a complete but necessary pain in the ass.

I first really met her Dad when I was putting in a flagstone walk at her house.  I shook his hand and while I was working made small talk so we could break the ice with each other.  About 10 minutes into small talk he asked what my intentions were regarding your mom.  It was like trying to open a window slowly and having someone opening the same window with a large brick.  After that uncomfortable pause (for me, not him) I told him that I liked her a lot and we were both figuring out where this was going to go.  He told me that I must be serious about her because I was putting in flagstone for her.  I repeated the same thing and your mom manged to come over and save me.  She was adept then (and now) at keeping me from falling in large holes that are hell to get out of. 

Meeting her older brothers and sisters for the first couple of times was a lot worse.  Her brothers and sisters were welcoming but regarded me with a healthy suspicion.  Nothing is more awkward than to be at a family or friend gathering and being the new guy.  Trying to participate and be part of conversation is like jumping rope with razor blades.  You can get chopped up to bits if you jump in at the wrong time. Your mom's brothers and sister had a sense of humor much like your mom and were OK with letting me sweat a little.  In their eyes, she was worth it.  Now that both of you are old enough to bring that person over, I understand (and appreciate) why they would have made me work for your mom.

Of course if I had stopped to realize that the one thing I had in common with them from the start was a deep and abiding love of your mom, all of those first awkward first meetings/holidays/occasions would have went much smoother for both of us.   Damn Occum and his razor for coming into my life so late. 

Love Dad