The worst thing I ever saw

I get asked from time to time what is the worst thing that I ever saw as a firefighter.  It is the kind of question that I never could answer very well.  It is impossible to describe a graphic traumatic injury and give it the appropriate amount of weight.  These traumatic injuries assault all of your senses at once in a way in a way that nothing else does.   It always seems that the worst of these incidents started with a person who made some incredibly bad decisions to start the chain of events.

The sense of fair play, what is right and what is wrong can be tossed out of the window in the blink of an eye.  Everyone finds there sense of balance in a different way.  It can become harder to do because we have preconceived notions about how we are supposed to process this kind of information. Note here that stiff upper lips and trying to sort it out on your own is the wrong thing to do every time.   Too many people love you for you have to do that.  People who believe they are unloved are self absorbed an ignoring the people who do love them.

There is a Yin and Yang aspect to almost everything.    Yin and Yang are the things that appear opposite to each other but are interrelated to each other (a shadow cannot exist without light).  This is true in all aspects of your life.  I found it especially true in the FD.


The day our engine crew was on the scene of an fatal accident involving a semi truck and bicyclist, there was two very distinct aspects to that day.  A very tough scene to manage and work through.  But along with that was a humbling display of courage by people whose lives changed in an agonizing instant that day.  Human beings have an amazing will to live and take care of each other when everything in their immediate lives goes to hell.  For me the quiet, selfless courage that people display under the worst case scenario affirms every good thing I believe about people.  You always have a choice on what you choose to see when things get bumpy.

People grieve, their hearts break, and it is not always fair but they keep pressing on for each other, that is the best of who everyone is. 

By the way the worst thing I ever saw as a firefighter was a mother crying at the loss of her son.

Love Dad