Casual Crappy Comments

Most people that say crappy things are well aware that they are saying crappy things.  These people talk in ambiguities on purpose.     

These people are friends of friends, people that know you in passing or have formed an opinion about you without ever taking the time to know you.   They are people you find in your classes, dorms, work, and clubs.  These people don't disappear, they are part of the landscape.  Kind of like dog shit in the park.

To be perfectly honest there are people that I bump into or have to deal with that I do not hold in very high esteem.  It is easy enough to deal with them.  Just keep it the level that is needed to get the work done.  It would not raise my self esteem or make me feel better to be crappy to them.  That does not make me a better human being, it just makes me a human being.

That does not mean I am exempt from these knuckleheads.  Seems like every so often someone will feels compelled to do that passive / aggressive thing and throw something out there. 

So I hope that when it happens to you (and it will) you take my advice here. 

Always call them on it.  It is enough most times to just tell them it was a shitty thing to say and you don't appreciate it.  For me nothing quite beats the elegance of a heartfelt f*ck you".  I will never be able to appreciate people who do not have the fortitude to be straight forward.

When they say "what do mean? or what is wrong with you?, or why did you say that?   I ask them what they meant by what they said.  What point were they trying to make?  And when they give you that lame answer make sure and answer them with a firm "bullshit".

You aren't going to rehabilitate these people, if they stop doing it to you, they will say it to someone else who will not say anything.  These people are bottom feeders who feel strong when they can make others feel doubt or feel weak.  They don't do it for any real reason other than they can.  It's not you in particular, its them. 

Remember to never let yourself be defined by what another person is unable or unwilling to do.

Love Dad