One of my all time favorite movie scenes is in the movie 300. King Leonidas tells the messenger that he needs to choose his words carefully. The messenger ignores this and tells the King that he needs to surrender in order to avoid annihilation. King Leonidas promptly kills all the messengers. It wasn't really the message they delivered. It was the way they delivered it that got them all killed.
I want to instill in you what a strong position you work from when you apply hard work, compassion, calm reason, and the golden rules. This works for most every situation. But, there are those times when the best course of action is to kill the messenger or burn the bridge. For every messenger out there (this will include you, when you have assumed the role of a messenger) always know that the words you use carry weight and consequence.
Every living soul has the capability to be unimaginably cruel if the right buttons are pressed. I am no exception to this. I believe strongly in those old school values of loyalty, honor, and trust. When those values get violated it cuts me down to the bone. There are people that bring out my darker side. Its not particularly important who they are or what they do as much as how I handle it..
Kill the messenger - I have had to specifically tell my friends, family, and that random well meaning acquaintance to NOT tell me about what (fill in the blank), did, or plans to do. I have a strong suspicion for people who tell me things they think I need to know. I am very forceful in letting these people know that I just do not need to know. I am equally forceful in challenging them on why I am getting updates on things that are going to bring out my dark side. I leave no doubt and really try to kill the messenger here.
Burning the Bridge - The best thing I can do for myself and the person whom I just cannot be around is to burn that bridge. There are people that are just poison to me. I am sure they work for other people, but it is just never going to be civil with me. They will bring out that cruelty in me and when they do that, I lose a small part of myself. There are some people that I should never be around. There are bridges that should be burned to the ground.
So what do you do if you slip and say or do something cruel?
First and foremost forgive yourself - it happens.
Kill the Messenger - Stop getting those updates that reopen the wound
Burn the Bridge - Walk away, there are combination's that are going to always be toxic. Never let someone have the power over you to not be yourself.
That pain fades when you do some old school stuff to close that gap in your life. Prayer always works, go to church or set aside some time to pray. Get involved again in sports, volunteer work, clubs and organizations. Do something really nice for someone who needs it. Don't give those meatheads another minute of your life.
Like mom says, the best revenge is to live a good life. No truer words have ever been spoken
Love Dad
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