Because they are not sitting across the table from me every night (and because they left for college before I was done imparting my knowledge), here are the nightly bits of wisdom you received at the dinner table.

Love Dad

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Book Covers

I got my haircut today at an upscale place that caters to men who care a lot more about their hair than I do.  I got a really bad haircut.  I am always surprised when I get a really bad haircut because my cut is not very complex.  Short on the sides and not buzzed on top. 

I am used to my regular barber.  She is 65, opinionated, some days bad tempered and always profane.  She can cut my hair perfect each time.  She has the shape of a potbellied man and has a persistent smokers cough.  I did not have a barber today, I had a hairstylist with big fake boobs who was in her mid 40's and was wearing a lot of bedazzeled stuff.   

I should have run out of the room.  I should have listened to the little voice in my head that was screaming to not let her touch my head.

After she gives me a really bad haircut, she asks me if I want some product in my hair.  Men my age should only have oil in their hair when they are under a car or drop a can of oil on their head.  I am looking at myself in the mirror wondering what the hell she was thinking when she was cutting my hair and she asks me if she can give me a massage.  I could only shake my head, no I did not need a massage, I need a extra large paper bag.

My haircut would be funny as hell if it was not me.  You should never judge a book by its cover.  BUT you should be aware of the section of the bookstore that you are browsing in. 

Learn to listen to that little voice in your head that is screaming at the top of its lungs.

Love Dad

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