The Speech

The death of the Rutger's kid kills me. 

You know the speech I am about to give you don't you?   I hope you flag this well worn speech to every kid you know.  All of you guys need to get a very firm grasp on this.

The unconditional love that your parents have for you is your safety net and a very important building block.  Unconditional love is one of those constants we all take for granted.  I always assume you know this because of the frequency that you used to get the speech.  I am never going to quite believe that I have told you this enough, so you will continue to get abridged and unabridged versions of the speech.

I want to know that you realize how unshakable that unconditional love is.  As parents, we want you to draw on that, lean on it, and use it for shelter when you find yourself in any kind of a storm. There is nothing (nothing at all) that would change that.  There just is nothing you cannot bring to us.  You can bring the smallest things, largest things and all of those in between things.  As much as we hope that you never need that safety net for the huge thing, we want you to know it is always there.

The only way I could be disappointed is if I felt that there was something you felt you could not bring to us.  You know that you always have an unconditional pass first and foremost.  Secondly, we will always pick you up and make sure you are safe.  We will find and engage whatever resources are needed to help you get it all sorted out. We will always take a look at how/why things went to hell but that is always going to be the last thing that we do.  And that only gets done after all the pieces get picked up.  Don't mistake unconditional love for approval.  We will always love you first and reserve the right to wonder what the hell you were thinking about when you did it.

You should know how much I love to hear about the smallest things and the not so small things.  When you bring these things to me, you will never leave not feeling that unconditional love.  You can also plan on getting plain, straight forward advice.  I will continue to impart my wisdom and life lessons on you both.  That is in the DAD job description and I take it seriously.  You never fully get to avoid that.

I hope every kid who feels like hell because of a choice or a decision they have made can turn towards those people who love them and find strength & solace there.  When I heard that gifted young man found his solace standing on a bridge instead of with his loved ones, it made me sick.  Clearly this young man was very loved.  I suspect his parents are not a lot different than we are. 

Every single person that reads this should realize how firmly your parents believe that you know how unconditionally you are loved by them.  If you don't know this call them up right away and get this cleared up right the hell now.  We all have different styles but the message is the same, just listen, it is not hard to hear it.


Love Dad